Things I've Learned In My Two Years of Being a Parent

What can I say about time and kids that doesn't sound dumb and cliche? Nothing that hasn't been said before, so all I'll say is: GAH! TWO YEARS! That baby I gave birth to isn't a baby anymore, but a walking talking bundle of energy that doesn't nap and has learned that how to open & close doors. Which, by the way, is terrifying.

Since his birthday I have had the chance to reflect on all the things that have changed. Not just basic things like his height or weight, but the less noticeable things. Things like:

- I'm not surprised or upset when I'm at work and find snot, avocado, and juice on my clothes.

- Dry shampoo and Downy Wrinkler Releaser are the two most used items in my house.

- My little independent spirit just isn't going to want to snuggle when I want to snuggle (or ever) and that is okay.

- Sometimes the plain no-seam nylon panties are just as sexy as the lacy satin panties.

- Spoiling my appetite with Girl Scout cookies while cooking the family dinner is totally a thing that happens.

Most of all I am in awe with the amount of love I have for this sweet boy. Honestly I have no idea how he fills my hearts up more each day. There are times my breath catches in my chest and my heart clinches and stops, and I am almost completely overwhelmed. It is a scary and wonderful feeling. One I look forward to feeling again and again as he keeps growing.

How I'm Coping With My Toddler Weaning Himself Off Of Naps

It's hard to believe Dean will be two years old in March. My little baby is no longer a baby but a full-blown little man who runs around all day, playing, dancing, talking, and has even started to sing a little bit. He has a strong will of what he wants to do, when he's going to do it, who he's going to do it with, and where it is going to happen. Is that common for toddlers?

My parents often talk about how "busy" he is. He is always doing something. If he's not playing trucks, he's playing trains, blocks, ball, sweeping, vacuuming, reading books, telling stories to his stuffed animals, running around, eating, or any number of other things... that are not sleeping. Over the last few months he has weaned himself almost completely off naps. For some reason I pictured him napping once a day for another year or so. I'm not quite ready for this change.

Nap time was the time I set aside for myself to work out and catch up on a few things that were easiest to do when Dean isn't around. For the last year I was able to do Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred dvd two to three times a week. I'm not trying to get shredded, no no no, but I want to build a bit of muscle and loose that stubborn tummy of mine. Now that Dean has stopped napping I'm finding it hard to work that 20 minutes elsewhere into my day. I would do it while he's awake but his love for playing with weights is not helpful to my workout routine.

Luckily the lack of naps don't effect him much. He's not often cranky. I think it's because he gets about 10-12 hours of sleep a night. (The last few nights it's been 14 hours, which leads me to think there's a growth spurt in the future.) There is a point everyday in the afternoon where he does slow down and he'll zone out watching an episode of Thomas the Train or Daniel Tiger, and then he's back up and running again. I figure as long as he doesn't get nasty there's no need to have him nap. That being said, I've now lost the time I used for certain things.

The day I took these pictures we went to two parks in hopes I could wear him out enough to take a nap. We left the second park more energized than when we arrived, I'm sure of it! I was so bummed that day because I had put off a few things that week and was just waiting for him to nap so I could get them done. That day I learned I can't rely on nap time any more and I need to start figuring out a way to get stuff done (especially working out). Laundry, which is difficult because he is the Destroyer of Piles, I now either pile up on the bed and do it before bed with Aaron's help, or I'll put the baby gate up in the hallway and sit on the floor on one side and do it while he's playing toys on the other. Crafting I push back until he's in bed for the night.

Over the last few weeks I've been showing signs of Postpartum Distress, which are making this transition more difficult than I'd like. Things as simple as me showering, getting ready in the morning, and running errands are now incredibly stressful. My body deals with these high levels of anxiety by detaching myself from the situation and slowing me down, almost paralyzing me. Aaron and I are working together to get me through this, and his support has been wonderful. He helps me fold laundry or plays with Dean when he gets home from work so I can have "me" time or do whatever I needed to do without a toddler underfoot.

One good thing to come out of Dean's lack of naps is he wants to cuddle with me in the morning. He has never been a cuddler, but for some reason he wants to sit on my lap in the morning while he watches his morning episode of "Thomas and Friends" of "Daniel Tiger". I don't care how starving I am in the morning, I will sit there with him leaning against me as long as he sits there. Yesterday he even put his arm across my body while he was sitting with me. I teared up because he just doesn't do that. I guess I can handle getting less work done if that means I can cuddle with my baby. I gotta stop calling him my "baby". He's not a baby anymore. But he will forever be my baby so I can't help it.

Do you mama's have any advice or ideas on how to get things done with a little one running around. How do you keep them from getting into your work? What are your best tricks?

In Which the Feeling Is Real

Next month Aaron and I will be celebrating 14 years since our first date. I remember the rain. I remember the kiss.

14 years together, nine years of marriage, four trips over seas, one baby... we're still going strong. That strength has been tested and reinforced.

I was writing in my journal in bed tonight, and I started thinking about love and that feeling you get when a guy looks at you with a particular look in his eye. The one that makes you weak in the knees, wanting more (and then some). The look you want your partner to give you every day of your life. I feel fortunate to have a husband who delivers this sort of look. I don't apologize for loving this, because I love it.

As if by some divine intervention Aaron woke up and smiled at me, pulled me close and kissed me. Yuna's "Favourite Thing" was playing in the background. The feeling of swooning had never been more real to me.

Even after all this time he can still make me feel like I've been swept off my feet. That I'm the only woman in the world he sees. That nothing else in the world matters but us.

My sincerest hope is that I give him the same feelings. That he knows there is no other man for me. That I treasure these 14 years together and know we'll grow stronger with each passing year.

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Now that I've written this all down and my heart has stopped palpatating like crazy from the near romance movie experience I'm going to go to bed.  Sweet dreams! <3

Naps

 Today Was a day of naps.  Dean napped because he's a toddler.  I napped because I have a sinus infection.  The best part was we napped together.  Snuggled on the couch.  Watching Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood.  Regardless of the fact that I can hardly breathe and the ridiculous amount of snot, life was grand today. <3

~ Sarah

Mama's I Have To Tell You Something - You Are Doing Great

I could tell you this to your face, but you're not here. You're at your house, or in your car, at t-ball practice, waiting in line at the grocery store, at work, or any number of other places.

I'm going to write this down for you to read because the baby is sleeping so we should be quiet, or you're away from your computer, on the phone, running after the kid(s), probably doing lots of things at once, and I really just want to get my words right.

You are doing great.



Let me repeat that. You are doing great.

I mean it. You are doing a fantastic job. You are a great mama to your baby/babies. I don't know when it was the last time you heard that (hopefully recently), but I really want you to know that truth.

That truth that whatever it is you are doing, you're doing a fine job at it. You are doing your best. Raising kids is hard. You are giving it everything you've got and doing it with all your heart. These precious little guys don't come with a manual, and each one is different, so really a manual probably wouldn't do much good, haha!

Don't worry if you turned Jake and the Neverland Pirates or Octonauts on for a while just so you could get some work done. You are not ignoring your baby. It's ok if you closed the door when you went to the bathroom, or let baby cry in the crib for a few extra minutes. It's acceptable to want (and have) a few minutes alone to breathe. Don't worry that you bought another container of Gerber Cheese Puffs so the little guy could make it through Target without fussing, or gave in to another nursing session. You are doing just fine, your baby is just fine, and you both are going to be fine.

Us mama's are told we should raise our kids are certain way, discipline them a certain way, when to stop nursing, how much weight we should have lost already, what foods we and our kids should be eating, what we should be doing with every minute of our day. We're told this from so many different people, from so many different directions, before we know it, we start questioning our decisions and our ability to be a good mother and to do a good job raising our kiddo's. I don't like having to question every decision I make. I want to be confident in myself and to know that certain things work for me and my family, and that makes it ok. I want you to have confidence too!

We can only really do what we are able to do, and we do that with every ounce of love, every fiber in our being. That is good enough.

What works for some people might not work for you, or for me. It might take a while, and multiple tries, but we'll figure out what does work eventually. If nursing a few extra months works for you, then do it. If letting your baby "cry-it-out" isn't working for you, don't do it. Did you put the baby-gate up in the bathroom to contain the babe while you did your hair and makeup this morning? Cool, I did too. It worked and I feel pretty darn good about myself today. Hopefully you do as well.

If you are struggling know you are not alone. I am here, as well as lots of other mama's who are going through (or have gone through) the same thing. Let's come together as mama's to support each other when things get cray-cray. I'm not here to judge, just love. So keep up the great work, mama. I love you.

P.S. You should 100% absolutely buy those shorts you've been eyeing. It's summertime and it's hot, and don't you dare think you shouldn't buy them because you don't think you'll look good in them. My dear, you will rock those shorts! And if some idiot thinks otherwise, they are an I D I O T so don't you worry about them. Also, YOU WILL ROCK THEM!