I Have Not Stepped On a Scale Since I Was Pregnant

Dean turned 2 in March. It seems so long ago that I was bursting at the seems with my little guy. The day I found out I was pregnant I put away my scale. Obviously I was going to gain weight but I didn't want that to become something I focused on. There were so many wonderful and exciting things to put my energy into, I didn't want weight to become a source of negative energy. I even told my midwife that I didn't want to know my weight, or how many pounds I gained, unless she was concerned about it. All she ever told me was that I "looked good" so I'll take that as it was a healthy weight.

To this day I have no idea how much weight I gained or what my final weigh in was. I can't even tell you what size pants I wore because I only wore maternity pants with the belly bands built in. It wasn't until right around this last Thanksgiving, that I started wearing my "normal" pants again. (The maternity leggings I won't give up because they are so comfy.) They fit my new body kind of weird but they get the job done.

While I have an idea about how much I weigh now, I can honestly say I don't care to know. It's just a number and that doesn't mean much to me. Right now I am just going by how I feel, and I'm starting to feel good. There was a point last week where I actually felt sexy. Friends, I don't know the last time I felt genuinely sexy. Aaron tells me I'm "sexy" and "smokin' hot" but these aren't words that I would have used (in the last 2+ years) to describe myself. All this time I've settled with "cute" or "ok-sure-whatever". It felt GOOD to feel sexy.

There are days, though, when my thoughts are very far from positive. Those days I try not to focus on it. Instead I'll wear as much black as possible, pick a different feature (eye, hair) & focus on that, or put heels on and say "fake it til you make it, Sarah!". This works most of the time.

My point is, my goal weight isn't a weight at all, but me feeling content with myself. It's about looking in the mirror and smiling at what I see. It doesn't matter to me if that means I'm bigger, smaller, or about the same as before. My body shape has changed (my waist and boobs say hi). Instead of changing the size of my waist line, I am working toward changing my outlook of myself.

This mama has stretch marks, rolls, cellulite, dull skin, and is overall slightly more round, but these things aren't terrible. They are all visible signs of what I have done in my life- not just my pregnancy (but mostly my pregnancy). Aaron finds my body sexy- so should I.

What sort of things do you do to help keep a positive body image post-baby? I would love to hear from you other mama's out there!

Shared Toddler and Mama Meals - Rainbow Buffet

Trying to figure out what solids a little one will eat can be tricky. There are times when it is downright frustrating.

Why don't you like pancakes? They are so good!

While I was trying to loose baby weight, I would eat five small meals a day and time them with my son's meals. One of my favorite meals was (and still is) extremely simple: a smorgasbord of lots of different foods that require little or no preparation. The key with this, though, is to not over do it and eat the rainbow.

The two biggest benefits to it for me are that it can be a very healthy & balanced meal and it ends up being more appealing and appetizing because of the colors. A delicious and happy sight.

Some of the foods I use for this meal:

Red: tomatoes, pepperoni, salami, raspberries, ketchup
Orange: Oranges, cheddar cheese, bell pepper, carrots
Yellow: tamagoyaki, corn, bananas
Green: Pickles, avocado, spinach,
Blue: blueberries,
Purple: blackberries, jelly
Pink: ham, tuna, salmon
Black: olives
White: turkey, cottage cheese, Baby Bell cheese, rice, mayo dish
Brown: Little Smokies, bread, crackers, granola, hummus, peanut butter

I keep the meal balanced by having one portion of protein, one portion of carbs, and how ever many portions I want of fruits and veggies. For example:

- 3-4 cherry tomatoes, 3 baby carrots, a big fork full of pickle slices, olives, one Baby Bell cheese, and 6 Little Smokies.

- One serving size of sliced salami, nectarine slices, couple slices of cheese, stuffed cherry peppers, small handful of blueberries, half an avocado, and a serving size of crackers.

- Peanut butter and jelly sandwich (cut into quarters), bananas, small bowl of spinach with olive oil & red pepper flakes, and carrots.

It may not seem like a lot, but once you plate it up and eat it, you'll find that you really are satiated and contently full.

This works for little ones too. At least it has for my son, and my nieces and nephews. Chopped up into tiny bite size pieces, arranged in a rainbow, shapes, or little designs. My son eats especially well when I make this for lunch. The food is easy for him to pick up and consume all by his independent self.

Do you ever have meals like this? What is your favorite items to use? Does your kiddo have a favorite?

Growing Pains or We're Going To Need A Bigger Boat

I have a vivid memory when I was 5 or 6 and waking up crying because I was hurting. No place in particular and all over at the same time. I remember my mom giving me a hug and tucking me back into bed saying "It's just growing pains. It will pass." My son is having his own growing pains and his cries remind me of that memory. I hold him, and rock him, and whisper "It will pass, my Love". My heart hurts for him, but I know it really will pass.

Now that I am all "grown up" I thought my time for growth was done. Physically this is true- I will never be taller than my current 5 foot 4 self. On the inside, though, I'm suddenly feeling new pains. My head and my heart are both experiencing unexpected growth and change.

The amount of love I have for my husband and son makes my heart swell, and every day I feel it get larger. It's crazy because I didn't think I could feel any more love for these two than I already do. Sometimes the feeling is so strong that my heart will seize up, a lump will fill my throat, and I'll be on the verge of tears. The power of love is staggering.

My expanding heart is not the only thing that brings me to tears lately. There is a part of me that feels suddenly lost. The person who I see in the mirror isn't always reflecting the person I feel inside. My brain is struggling with reconciling the gal I am (mama in her 30's), the gal I feel I should be (the cute young gal who runs a video game store), and the gal I want to be (both). That probably sounds nonsensical. I'm not sure I can properly express the disconnect or the anxiety it makes me feel.

An example would be me struggling to get dressed each morning. While I want to wear super nerdy shirts and look relate-able at work, my personal style is changing to be more chill. Ultimately it is my store and I can wear whatever I want (and I do). I feel like I have spent the last five years building a persona at the store and I'm scared to change it. What if I don't stand out or people don't take me seriously? Where is the happy medium? Is there a happy medium?

I feel like I have a lot more growing to do to make room for this new me, whoever she is and however she is dressed. She will have taken taken bits from all the conflicting parts and turned it into a great big ball of contentment and confidence. So a lot of room, a lot of growth, is needed. In the mean time I will hurt, but it will pass.

Things I've Learned In My Two Years of Being a Parent

What can I say about time and kids that doesn't sound dumb and cliche? Nothing that hasn't been said before, so all I'll say is: GAH! TWO YEARS! That baby I gave birth to isn't a baby anymore, but a walking talking bundle of energy that doesn't nap and has learned that how to open & close doors. Which, by the way, is terrifying.

Since his birthday I have had the chance to reflect on all the things that have changed. Not just basic things like his height or weight, but the less noticeable things. Things like:

- I'm not surprised or upset when I'm at work and find snot, avocado, and juice on my clothes.

- Dry shampoo and Downy Wrinkler Releaser are the two most used items in my house.

- My little independent spirit just isn't going to want to snuggle when I want to snuggle (or ever) and that is okay.

- Sometimes the plain no-seam nylon panties are just as sexy as the lacy satin panties.

- Spoiling my appetite with Girl Scout cookies while cooking the family dinner is totally a thing that happens.

Most of all I am in awe with the amount of love I have for this sweet boy. Honestly I have no idea how he fills my hearts up more each day. There are times my breath catches in my chest and my heart clinches and stops, and I am almost completely overwhelmed. It is a scary and wonderful feeling. One I look forward to feeling again and again as he keeps growing.

Ketchup Art - Meal Time Fun

Getting a toddler to sit down and eat can be a challenge. I've heard this from every other parent I've talked to. So why was I surprised when I started having troubles getting our little man to eat? No clue, but I'm not going to waste time worrying about it. My strategy most times with him is: "quick, distract him!" In this case my go-to distraction is ketchup pictures.

During one trip to Daiso in Seattle, I ran across a small condiment bottle that didn't have a whole in the top made yet. This allowed me to cut the hole as small as I wanted, which would be perfect for decorating bento's. Or meals in general. It all started with me making "ketchup stars". I would sing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star and draw out shapes as I sang. Dean was really into it, so I started doing it more often.

When Twinkle Twinkle Little Star didn't work, I started singing another one of his favorites, Boku Wa Kuma, and started to draw bears. The combination of singing and him watching me draw the designs seemed to get him interested in eating. Most of the time it's only for a few bites, but I feel like even then I'm still winning the fight. His excitement for the ketchup designs has inspired me to get more creative with it.

Thomas the Train, for instance, has a black smoke stack made of sliced olives, and white smoke made of cottage cheese. The face is so terrible, but Dean thought it was the best thing ever. I was barely able to snap the picture before he dug into his food. That's a big win in my book!

Trixie from Toy Story is a current favorite character of his right now, so she's popped up a few times on plates. Drawing dinosaurs is hard! Luckily my kid isn't a critic. He even recognized BB-8 despite the botched "thumbs up". Buzz Lightyear and Peppa Pig were both successes as well. This is something I can see myself continuing for as long as he likes it. It doesn't take much time to do, it's actually pretty fun, and it seems to get him to eat with less hassle.

Some other pictures I've thought of doing in the future are a line of trains (Thomas, Percy & Gordon), Itsy Bitsy Spider, a tractor, a big red London bus (of Tractor and Bus fame).

Are there any little tricks that you do to help get difficult eaters to eat?

Dean's Tractor & Bus Felt Book Progress

"Kids grow out of things so fast, they'll be on to the next toy before you know it," my parents said to me a few months ago. I was telling them how much I loved that Dean couldn't be separated from "Tractor" and "Bus"."Enjoy it while it lasts," they said. Dean had spent so many months unable to be separated from Tractor and Bus, I didn't think he'd out grow them. I still have my all time favorite doll, so I expect my son to have inherited the same devotion to his toys. Is that crazy of me to think?

Over the last little while he's become interested in other toys, like Thomas the Train and construction vehicles. He still plays with Tractor and Bus but his attention is divided with other toys. It hurts my little-mama-heart to see him growing up and playing with other toys. That's such a silly thing to say, but it's true. Why can't he just stay my little guy and need Tractor and Bus for everything forever?

If you follow me on Instagram you've seen pictures of the felt book popping up. It's slow going and very tedious. Definitely taking longer than I'd like. I really really really don't want Dean to have outgrown it by the time I finish it. More than likely he won't because he still plays with the one Auntie Kinner made him.

After weeks and weeks on working on it, I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. I'm currently working on the last page, then I'll stitch all the pages together and bind it. Looking forward to spending time tonight working on it and I might be able to finish it by this weekend. The anticipation gives my heart palpitations!

How I'm Coping With My Toddler Weaning Himself Off Of Naps

It's hard to believe Dean will be two years old in March. My little baby is no longer a baby but a full-blown little man who runs around all day, playing, dancing, talking, and has even started to sing a little bit. He has a strong will of what he wants to do, when he's going to do it, who he's going to do it with, and where it is going to happen. Is that common for toddlers?

My parents often talk about how "busy" he is. He is always doing something. If he's not playing trucks, he's playing trains, blocks, ball, sweeping, vacuuming, reading books, telling stories to his stuffed animals, running around, eating, or any number of other things... that are not sleeping. Over the last few months he has weaned himself almost completely off naps. For some reason I pictured him napping once a day for another year or so. I'm not quite ready for this change.

Nap time was the time I set aside for myself to work out and catch up on a few things that were easiest to do when Dean isn't around. For the last year I was able to do Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred dvd two to three times a week. I'm not trying to get shredded, no no no, but I want to build a bit of muscle and loose that stubborn tummy of mine. Now that Dean has stopped napping I'm finding it hard to work that 20 minutes elsewhere into my day. I would do it while he's awake but his love for playing with weights is not helpful to my workout routine.

Luckily the lack of naps don't effect him much. He's not often cranky. I think it's because he gets about 10-12 hours of sleep a night. (The last few nights it's been 14 hours, which leads me to think there's a growth spurt in the future.) There is a point everyday in the afternoon where he does slow down and he'll zone out watching an episode of Thomas the Train or Daniel Tiger, and then he's back up and running again. I figure as long as he doesn't get nasty there's no need to have him nap. That being said, I've now lost the time I used for certain things.

The day I took these pictures we went to two parks in hopes I could wear him out enough to take a nap. We left the second park more energized than when we arrived, I'm sure of it! I was so bummed that day because I had put off a few things that week and was just waiting for him to nap so I could get them done. That day I learned I can't rely on nap time any more and I need to start figuring out a way to get stuff done (especially working out). Laundry, which is difficult because he is the Destroyer of Piles, I now either pile up on the bed and do it before bed with Aaron's help, or I'll put the baby gate up in the hallway and sit on the floor on one side and do it while he's playing toys on the other. Crafting I push back until he's in bed for the night.

Over the last few weeks I've been showing signs of Postpartum Distress, which are making this transition more difficult than I'd like. Things as simple as me showering, getting ready in the morning, and running errands are now incredibly stressful. My body deals with these high levels of anxiety by detaching myself from the situation and slowing me down, almost paralyzing me. Aaron and I are working together to get me through this, and his support has been wonderful. He helps me fold laundry or plays with Dean when he gets home from work so I can have "me" time or do whatever I needed to do without a toddler underfoot.

One good thing to come out of Dean's lack of naps is he wants to cuddle with me in the morning. He has never been a cuddler, but for some reason he wants to sit on my lap in the morning while he watches his morning episode of "Thomas and Friends" of "Daniel Tiger". I don't care how starving I am in the morning, I will sit there with him leaning against me as long as he sits there. Yesterday he even put his arm across my body while he was sitting with me. I teared up because he just doesn't do that. I guess I can handle getting less work done if that means I can cuddle with my baby. I gotta stop calling him my "baby". He's not a baby anymore. But he will forever be my baby so I can't help it.

Do you mama's have any advice or ideas on how to get things done with a little one running around. How do you keep them from getting into your work? What are your best tricks?

Shared Toddler and Mama Meals - Eggs and Toast Breakfast

Scrambled eggs has become my go-to for a quick and hearty breakfast. Pop some bread in the toaster, chop up whatever greens that are on hand to mix in, pour a glass of almond milk or Green Machine and it's a super balanced meal.

Spinach is what I put in my eggs most of the time, but this morning we didn't have any so I used green onions. As a little extra somethin'-somethin' for me, I added a little Kewpie Mayonnaise and habanaro salt on top of my eggs. On my toast I added butter, a tiny bit of peanut butter, then some jelly. In all honesty, I could probably eat three pieces of toast each morning, haha!

Dean doesn't really care what I add to the eggs as long as he has ketchup stars and "may-mays", which is normal mayo, not mama's Kewpie Mayo (there's no way I'm sharing that with anyone). Every meal I put a different number of stars on his plate which we count together before he digs in. The stars are made by a mini condiment bottle I snagged at Daiso.

Toast is something Dean hasn't been really big on, so I decided to cut his up and add a dollop of jelly for him to use as dip. This little trick worked and he ate his entire piece.

Avacados are a staple around here also, but since I haven't been able to find any good ones at the store, I served Dean some cottage cheese. This isn't something I typically buy since I have a dairy allergy, but since Dean eats it really well at my parent's house I figured I should get him some.

Scrambled Eggs and Toast
ingredients:
3 eggs
1/4 cup grated cheddar cheese
2 green onions
pepper
ground flax seed
chia seed
habanero sald (for my portion)
2 slices of bread
butter
peanut butter
jelly

to make:
Mix eggs, cheese, onion, pepper, and seeds together in a bowl. In a small pan add a tablespoon of extra virgin olive oil, when the oil is hot add the egg mixture and cook until scrambled.

Add bread to toaster and toast. I enjoy my toast brown and crispy. Add toppings to one piece and cut the second piece into toddler bite size pieces.

Plate everything, add toppings (habanero salt, ketchup stars, mayo, and jelly). and enjoy. Oh and don't forget to count the stars!

What sorts of foods do you like sharing?

Fabulous 2015

This year is coming to a close, and man oh man, am I excited it's over. Before I ring the new year in I want to do a quick little post about my Word of the Year: FABULOUS.

My little family is growing fabulously. Look at those two guys~ so cute!!

I made awesome new friends from the store~ some of which I spend a good amount of time outside the store, made friends with a new neighbor who has kids around Dean's age, dropped a fair amount of baby weight, and have pretty much perfected my morning routine (6-8 mins on hair and maybe 10 mins on makeup, depending on if the eyeliner is behaving).  We got a van which I love.  It has 16 cupholders, which is rediculous and awesome.  It also has remite controlled doors which are so incredibly handy with the little guy.

Not much has happened around the blog lately but maybe that'll change next year.  Until next time~~ HAPPY NEW YEAR FRIENDS! ♪（ｖ＾＿＾）ｖ♥

My Top 5 Baby Teething Items [Edited]

Dean is a very chill little dude. He doesn't fuss when he takes a tumble, doesn't let bonks on the head phase him, and has taken teething in stride. He has been teething since he was about five months old, and he has been a trooper the entire time.  Currently he's cutting all four canine's and you would hardly know it.

I feel like part of it is his chill nature, and part of it is how we have helped him get through it. Aaron and I didn't want to give him Tylenol on a regular basis so we looked into other ways to help sooth the pain. Dean was very receptive to these items, so I'd like to share them with you.

MY TOP 5 TEETHING ITEMS

1. Amber bead necklace
2. Punkin Butt Teething Oil
3. Hyland's Baby Teething Gel
4. Teething banana
5. Sofie the Giraffe
There's a lot of skepticism towards the amber bead necklaces, so let me tell you my reasons for why I am happy with the one Dean is wearing. The succinic acid found in the external layer of Baltic amber is a natural pain reliever and anti-inflammatory. It doesn't make the pain go completely away, but it makes it tolerable.

In my experience, the two of the biggest arguments against the amber necklaces is that they are a choking and strangle hazard. The beads are tied on individually so if the necklace were to break, only one bead would fall off, not all of them. The necklaces are worn short so the baby can't reach it or chew on it. In addition, the clasp tears away, so if it gets caught on something, the baby won't get strangled. At night I move the necklace from around it neck to around his ankle. This way it's still against his skin, and I don't have to worry about it.

The teething oil was recommended to me by the gal who I bought the necklace from. They stock a variety of different oils there and she really liked this one. Dean doesn't like the taste of the oil, but once I get it in his mouth I can tell immediately that he feels better.

The teething gel we use is one that was recommended to me by quite a few local mama's. I haven't tried other gels so I don't know if Orajel is any better. Why mess with what I know works for Dean?

The banana was something I saw at Target and snagged it on a whim. Dean didn't respond to frozen wash clothes, frozen foods, or teething toys. For whatever reason he preferred to chew on harder plastic items. He just happens to love banana's so when I found the banana I figured it was worth a shot. To my luck he liked it! He's slowly stopped chewing things in general, but I got a good four-five months out if.

As far as Dean's symptoms went: he's run a fever only twice, had diarrhea once, a moderate amount of drooling, and some break-outs around his mouth from the drool. On occasion he'd get fussy. Overall, though, he's such a trooper.

Are there any items you've heard of or seen that work well? What do you recommend for soothing the pain?

[Edit] Sofie the Giraffe!! I totally forgot about Sofie! This was one of the first teething toys I bought him and he l o v e d her. So much so he gnawed some soft spots into her after about six months, so we had to toss her. That's why I forgot about her, I guess. "Out of sight, out of mind." She was worth every single penny, and I highly recommend the investment.[/Edit]

Shared Toddler and Mama Meals - Ham Sandwich Pasta

Who's got time to shower and eat when the baby/toddler needs changed and fed, dishes need done, errands need ran, laundry needs to be moved over, the little guy needs to be changed and fed again? Really- there's just so much to do sometimes (read: frequently) feeding myself takes the backseat. I don't know about you but I become a cranky mama bear if I don't eat. I focus on everything else that needs done so I get surprise attacked by the bear, and that's when I know it's time to put on the breaks and eat.

I wanted to come up with a way to feed myself along with my little man that helps me keep that mama bear at bay. Since Dean is eating "people food" I'm taking the opportunity to expand his food pallet by feeding him meals that I enjoy. Now I want to share these recipes we've enjoyed together with you. They're quick, easy, and healthy. Instead of cramming them all into this one post, I plan on spreading them out over a couple posts.

This particular recipe came about because I had a hankering for a ham sandwich but I didn't have any bread.  I found some pasta in the pantry so I just went with it.

HAM AND CHEESE PASTA

ingredients:
1 cup of pasta salad noodles
3-4 slices of sandwhich ham slices, chopped
1/4 cup chopped cheddar cheese
Kewpie Mayo (we prefer this particular Japanese mayo, but use whatever you like)
A sprinkle of ground flax seeds
A dash of spicy habanero salt (for my portion)

to make:
Cook pasta according to package.  Rinse the pasta to cool it off.  Combine all ingrediants but the spicy salt.  Add however much mayo you feel comfortable using.  Mix and serve.  Make sure to add the spicy salt to your portion.

Most of Deans meals are accompanied by half an avocado.  This particular day we didn't have one, so we had olives.

What sort of meals do you share with your kiddo(s)?  Have you ever tried turning a sandwich into a pasta dish?  Let me know what you think or what ideas you have!

Happy 18 Months My Little Mr. Man

Can we just stop a second and talk about how old my little baby is? I call him "Baby" out of habit, but he's hardly a baby anymore. When did this happen?

Why did it happen?!

The last time I posted a big slew of baby photos was a little over a ago. That's crazy! I guess things happen so fast and it's so easy to post things on Instagram that I hadn't really thought about it.

This precious little guy is just so awesome. He has started to string words together, solve problems, understand what it means when I give the "the look", and has attempted to say "love you" back at us when we say it to him. This is just a FEW of the things that has changed, a few of the ways he has grown since that last post.

He is nothing short of incredible.

Naps

 Today Was a day of naps.  Dean napped because he's a toddler.  I napped because I have a sinus infection.  The best part was we napped together.  Snuggled on the couch.  Watching Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood.  Regardless of the fact that I can hardly breathe and the ridiculous amount of snot, life was grand today. <3

~ Sarah