Fabulous 2015

This year is coming to a close, and man oh man, am I excited it's over. Before I ring the new year in I want to do a quick little post about my Word of the Year: FABULOUS.

My little family is growing fabulously. Look at those two guys~ so cute!!

I made awesome new friends from the store~ some of which I spend a good amount of time outside the store, made friends with a new neighbor who has kids around Dean's age, dropped a fair amount of baby weight, and have pretty much perfected my morning routine (6-8 mins on hair and maybe 10 mins on makeup, depending on if the eyeliner is behaving).  We got a van which I love.  It has 16 cupholders, which is rediculous and awesome.  It also has remite controlled doors which are so incredibly handy with the little guy.
Not much has happened around the blog lately but maybe that'll change next year.  Until next time~~ HAPPY NEW YEAR FRIENDS! ♪(v^_^)v♥

My Top 5 Baby Teething Items [Edited]

Dean is a very chill little dude. He doesn't fuss when he takes a tumble, doesn't let bonks on the head phase him, and has taken teething in stride. He has been teething since he was about five months old, and he has been a trooper the entire time.  Currently he's cutting all four canine's and you would hardly know it.

I feel like part of it is his chill nature, and part of it is how we have helped him get through it. Aaron and I didn't want to give him Tylenol on a regular basis so we looked into other ways to help sooth the pain. Dean was very receptive to these items, so I'd like to share them with you.


1. Amber bead necklace
2. Punkin Butt Teething Oil
3. Hyland's Baby Teething Gel
4. Teething banana
5. Sofie the Giraffe

There's a lot of skepticism towards the amber bead necklaces, so let me tell you my reasons for why I am happy with the one Dean is wearing. The succinic acid found in the external layer of Baltic amber is a natural pain reliever and anti-inflammatory. It doesn't make the pain go completely away, but it makes it tolerable.

In my experience, the two of the biggest arguments against the amber necklaces is that they are a choking and strangle hazard. The beads are tied on individually so if the necklace were to break, only one bead would fall off, not all of them. The necklaces are worn short so the baby can't reach it or chew on it. In addition, the clasp tears away, so if it gets caught on something, the baby won't get strangled. At night I move the necklace from around it neck to around his ankle. This way it's still against his skin, and I don't have to worry about it.

The teething oil was recommended to me by the gal who I bought the necklace from. They stock a variety of different oils there and she really liked this one. Dean doesn't like the taste of the oil, but once I get it in his mouth I can tell immediately that he feels better.

The teething gel we use is one that was recommended to me by quite a few local mama's. I haven't tried other gels so I don't know if Orajel is any better. Why mess with what I know works for Dean?

The banana was something I saw at Target and snagged it on a whim. Dean didn't respond to frozen wash clothes, frozen foods, or teething toys. For whatever reason he preferred to chew on harder plastic items. He just happens to love banana's so when I found the banana I figured it was worth a shot. To my luck he liked it! He's slowly stopped chewing things in general, but I got a good four-five months out if.

As far as Dean's symptoms went: he's run a fever only twice, had diarrhea once, a moderate amount of drooling, and some break-outs around his mouth from the drool. On occasion he'd get fussy. Overall, though, he's such a trooper.

Are there any items you've heard of or seen that work well? What do you recommend for soothing the pain?

[Edit] Sofie the Giraffe!! I totally forgot about Sofie! This was one of the first teething toys I bought him and he l o v e d her. So much so he gnawed some soft spots into her after about six months, so we had to toss her. That's why I forgot about her, I guess. "Out of sight, out of mind." She was worth every single penny, and I highly recommend the investment.[/Edit]

Shared Toddler and Mama Meals - Ham Sandwich Pasta

Who's got time to shower and eat when the baby/toddler needs changed and fed, dishes need done, errands need ran, laundry needs to be moved over, the little guy needs to be changed and fed again? Really- there's just so much to do sometimes (read: frequently) feeding myself takes the backseat. I don't know about you but I become a cranky mama bear if I don't eat. I focus on everything else that needs done so I get surprise attacked by the bear, and that's when I know it's time to put on the breaks and eat.

I wanted to come up with a way to feed myself along with my little man that helps me keep that mama bear at bay. Since Dean is eating "people food" I'm taking the opportunity to expand his food pallet by feeding him meals that I enjoy. Now I want to share these recipes we've enjoyed together with you. They're quick, easy, and healthy. Instead of cramming them all into this one post, I plan on spreading them out over a couple posts.

This particular recipe came about because I had a hankering for a ham sandwich but I didn't have any bread.  I found some pasta in the pantry so I just went with it.


1 cup of pasta salad noodles
3-4 slices of sandwhich ham slices, chopped
1/4 cup chopped cheddar cheese
Kewpie Mayo (we prefer this particular Japanese mayo, but use whatever you like)
A sprinkle of ground flax seeds
A dash of spicy habanero salt (for my portion)

to make:
Cook pasta according to package.  Rinse the pasta to cool it off.  Combine all ingrediants but the spicy salt.  Add however much mayo you feel comfortable using.  Mix and serve.  Make sure to add the spicy salt to your portion.

Most of Deans meals are accompanied by half an avocado.  This particular day we didn't have one, so we had olives.

What sort of meals do you share with your kiddo(s)?  Have you ever tried turning a sandwich into a pasta dish?  Let me know what you think or what ideas you have!

Happy 18 Months My Little Mr. Man

Can we just stop a second and talk about how old my little baby is? I call him "Baby" out of habit, but he's hardly a baby anymore. When did this happen?

Why did it happen?!

The last time I posted a big slew of baby photos was a little over a ago. That's crazy! I guess things happen so fast and it's so easy to post things on Instagram that I hadn't really thought about it.

This precious little guy is just so awesome. He has started to string words together, solve problems, understand what it means when I give the "the look", and has attempted to say "love you" back at us when we say it to him. This is just a FEW of the things that has changed, a few of the ways he has grown since that last post.

He is nothing short of incredible.

In Which the Feeling Is Real

Next month Aaron and I will be celebrating 14 years since our first date. I remember the rain. I remember the kiss.

14 years together, nine years of marriage, four trips over seas, one baby... we're still going strong. That strength has been tested and reinforced.

I was writing in my journal in bed tonight, and I started thinking about love and that feeling you get when a guy looks at you with a particular look in his eye. The one that makes you weak in the knees, wanting more (and then some). The look you want your partner to give you every day of your life. I feel fortunate to have a husband who delivers this sort of look. I don't apologize for loving this, because I love it.

As if by some divine intervention Aaron woke up and smiled at me, pulled me close and kissed me. Yuna's "Favourite Thing" was playing in the background. The feeling of swooning had never been more real to me.

Even after all this time he can still make me feel like I've been swept off my feet. That I'm the only woman in the world he sees. That nothing else in the world matters but us.

My sincerest hope is that I give him the same feelings. That he knows there is no other man for me. That I treasure these 14 years together and know we'll grow stronger with each passing year.

Now that I've written this all down and my heart has stopped palpatating like crazy from the near romance movie experience I'm going to go to bed.  Sweet dreams! <3


 Today Was a day of naps.  Dean napped because he's a toddler.  I napped because I have a sinus infection.  The best part was we napped together.  Snuggled on the couch.  Watching Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood.  Regardless of the fact that I can hardly breathe and the ridiculous amount of snot, life was grand today. <3

~ Sarah

Chocolate Espresso Trail Mix Oatmeal Cookies

Don't let my mostly blank planner fool you, I'm actually pretty busy. Not in the "I have things to do/places to go/people to see" sort of way, but "my baby went straight from crawling to running and hasn't once stopped" sort of way. Each day my plan is: how can I fill this day with the most fulfilling and productive activities? I strive to give Dean a full, happy, healthy, and educated childhood, to the best of my abilities. Granted, I have no idea what I'm doing, but I'm trying. Each day is an adventure. When one day doesn't go as I planned, I work that much harder the next day. When days do go as I plan I get myself another coffee.

Pretty much every day involves a coffee but some days I'd like a little sumthin' sumthin' extra. More coffee is always the best answer, but it's not always the right answer. That's where these cookies come in. I smashed up some dark chocolate espresso trail mix and added it to my favorite cookie recipe. Chocolate covered espresso beans, praline almonds, sea-salt pecans, and chocolate chips- bam! It's the perfect addition to the perfect cookie.

In between exploring the outside world with Dean, I want to get a load of dishes done. After play time with Legos & Zoobles I'd like to tidy up. Once lunch is over, it'd be great to sweep the floor. These cookies give me that extra umph to help me get more stuff done once my coffee is gone. Don't get me wrong, I don't get all these chores done everyday (most days), but these cookies do help me keep up my motivation levels.

The recipe is actually one for amazingly awesome lactation cookies, but since I'm weaning Dean I tweaked the recipe a bit. I omitted the brewer's yeast, which is the ingredient that helped me with my milk supply. If you're not nursing, then I recommend omitting it as well.

Also, this dough is d a n g e r o u s. Every time I make these cookies I probably eat a half a dozen cookies worth of dough. Don't judge.

Do you have any treats that keep you a motivated mama?

P.S. You can buy "Book of Brave" by the insanely inspirational Laura Jane Williams here. Doitdoitdoit.

Mama's I Have To Tell You Something - You Are Doing Great

I could tell you this to your face, but you're not here. You're at your house, or in your car, at t-ball practice, waiting in line at the grocery store, at work, or any number of other places.

I'm going to write this down for you to read because the baby is sleeping so we should be quiet, or you're away from your computer, on the phone, running after the kid(s), probably doing lots of things at once, and I really just want to get my words right.

You are doing great.

Let me repeat that. You are doing great.

I mean it. You are doing a fantastic job. You are a great mama to your baby/babies. I don't know when it was the last time you heard that (hopefully recently), but I really want you to know that truth.

That truth that whatever it is you are doing, you're doing a fine job at it. You are doing your best. Raising kids is hard. You are giving it everything you've got and doing it with all your heart. These precious little guys don't come with a manual, and each one is different, so really a manual probably wouldn't do much good, haha!

Don't worry if you turned Jake and the Neverland Pirates or Octonauts on for a while just so you could get some work done. You are not ignoring your baby. It's ok if you closed the door when you went to the bathroom, or let baby cry in the crib for a few extra minutes. It's acceptable to want (and have) a few minutes alone to breathe. Don't worry that you bought another container of Gerber Cheese Puffs so the little guy could make it through Target without fussing, or gave in to another nursing session. You are doing just fine, your baby is just fine, and you both are going to be fine.

Us mama's are told we should raise our kids are certain way, discipline them a certain way, when to stop nursing, how much weight we should have lost already, what foods we and our kids should be eating, what we should be doing with every minute of our day. We're told this from so many different people, from so many different directions, before we know it, we start questioning our decisions and our ability to be a good mother and to do a good job raising our kiddo's. I don't like having to question every decision I make. I want to be confident in myself and to know that certain things work for me and my family, and that makes it ok. I want you to have confidence too!

We can only really do what we are able to do, and we do that with every ounce of love, every fiber in our being. That is good enough.

What works for some people might not work for you, or for me. It might take a while, and multiple tries, but we'll figure out what does work eventually. If nursing a few extra months works for you, then do it. If letting your baby "cry-it-out" isn't working for you, don't do it. Did you put the baby-gate up in the bathroom to contain the babe while you did your hair and makeup this morning? Cool, I did too. It worked and I feel pretty darn good about myself today. Hopefully you do as well.

If you are struggling know you are not alone. I am here, as well as lots of other mama's who are going through (or have gone through) the same thing. Let's come together as mama's to support each other when things get cray-cray. I'm not here to judge, just love. So keep up the great work, mama. I love you.

P.S. You should 100% absolutely buy those shorts you've been eyeing. It's summertime and it's hot, and don't you dare think you shouldn't buy them because you don't think you'll look good in them. My dear, you will rock those shorts! And if some idiot thinks otherwise, they are an I D I O T so don't you worry about them. Also, YOU WILL ROCK THEM!

Nunnally Blanket Knitting Pattern

Today's post would not be possible without the help of fellow Ravelry member, rhiannonmrl. She has helped me find one of my long lost (and most requested) patterns! Thank you so much Michelle! I honestly never thought I'd find the pattern again.

This blanket is so fun to knit up with it's easy lace pattern. It's the perfect project for someone who has never done lace before because there isn't much to the design. The lace design is only a dozen or so stitches long so it's easy to remember and keep track of.

I have made three of these blankets, (1) [2] {3}, and it was the perfect project to do while watching Aaron play games or while we watched a movie. After the first few rows muscle memory takes over and the blanket practically knits itself.

You can get your copy of the pattern here, here, or here.

11 Minute Mommy Hair and Makeup - Mini Interruptions Included

Let's talk about getting ready in the morning with a baby around. Long gone are the days of spending an hour on myself each morning primping, doing my hair and makeup. With a baby crawling around (soon to be walking) getting into things, needing up, wanting down, getting him ready and out the door so we can take Aaron to work... mornings can be hectic. (Understatement of the year, hah!)

Since Dean has been born I have worked on a routine to get myself ready quickly and as stress free as possible. Here is a little video of how I get my hair and makeup done in the morning with baby around. I hope you like it!

I need to work on the lighting and I was very nervous recording this video.

First off I stick Dean in a little jumpy thing with toys so he's contained and busy while I'm getting ready. He doesn't always like it in there but it works long enough for me to get done. Of course the day I filmed this video he was an angel and hardly interrupted me at all- yay!

My curling iron is pretty hot, which allows me to curl all my hair fast. So on mornings I blow-dry and curl my hair I put a heat protection product on it so keep it from becoming too damaged. Starting from the left front and working towards the back I curl my hair in ringlets. Then I work the right from front to back. This typically takes me about 6 minutes. I don't touch my hair once I'm done, I'll come back to it after I do my makeup and it has time to cool down.

Next I prime my face, put on concealer, foundation, bronzer, eye shadow, eyeliner, mascara, and lip balm. This takes me about 5 minutes. Very last, I ruffle the roots of my hair pretty vigorously- just the roots though. This loosens up the curls for a more natural look. Hairspray and done!

Products used:
Maybelline FitMe Foundation Stick
Maybelline FitMe Matte & Poreless Foundation
Maybelline FitMe Powder
Physician Formula Powder Palette Mineral Glow Pearls
Maybelline Eye Studio Color Tatoo Eye Shadow
Rimmel ScandalEyes Jumbo Eyeliner
L'Oreal Miss Manga Mascara

Even with little interruptions from Dean and a call from Aaron I can get this done in about 11-13 minutes. Not only am I ready but I feel good about myself. Confident. Maybe it's just me, but I'm way more productive when I'm feeling confident. Like some bad-ass mommy super hero. It is just me? Haha ok, that's alright in my book.

Do you have any tips or tricks that work for you? Do you do anything special with your little ones to help you get ready in the morning?

This post was originally written four months ago (when Dean was 12 months old) and, while I don't keep him inside the little jumpy-thingy, I still keep this routine

Hot Mama Pancake Recipe

There are mornings when everything falls into place perfectly: the baby wakes up content to play in his crib while I make everyone breakfast, I have time to put all my makeup on before leaving the house, and there's time to pick up a cup of coffee on the way to dropping Aaron off at work.

Then there's most mornings when the baby sleeps until I have to put him in the car, I only put on foundation, and nobody had breakfast. It's mornings like this when I wish I had something already made up. That way I can eat something quick and feel good about my morning. When I'm not running on an empty stomach I feel great. Not only do I feel great, I feel like I look great.

I decided to take an afternoon to make up and freeze a big batch of pancakes made with some of my favorite things. These pancakes are loaded with lots of yummy ingredient that are tasty and good for me:

• chia seeds for omega-3
• ground flax seeds for fiber
• peanut butter for protein
• chocolate because why not
• coffee because yes

By adding so many tasty ingredients toppings aren't necessary. This makes them good finger food, and perfect for eating while chasing a toddler.

Like most of my cooking, I "eyeball" measurements so this is more of a guide than an exact recipe. Definitely change it up and make it to your personal likes.

■ 1 1/2 cups Bisquick
■ Coffee (instead of water)
■ 1 tbsp chia seeds
■ 1 tbsp ground flax seeds
■ 1 tbsp peanut butter
■ 3/4 cup mini chocolate chips

I like my pancakes thin so I use quite a bit more liquid than the recipe on the box calls for. Some other tasty additions to this would be: cinnamon, crushed nuts, dried fruit, or chai tea powder or the actual tea in addition/instead of coffee. My coffee was freshly brewed so when I poured it into my batter it melted my chocolate chips. My tired brain was surprised at this little bit of science-y magic, haha!

What sort of ingredients would you add? Do you have a favorite make ahead breakfast food? ♥

About That Whole Blogging Thing

Well hello there! You might remember me... I'm the author of this blog. Earlier in the year a started a different blog, one that I felt was more me, but that was just silly. This blog is me. It's my home on the web and it was goofy of me to think otherwise.

This summer has flown by! So fast, in fact, that I couldn't tell you when it was the last time I blogged. I mean, I could totally go look but I'm kind of embarrassed about it. So instead, we won't look, and we'll just talk about what's going on now. This instant. Right now the baby is asleep cuddling with his fave blanket and his Burt doll (this is the first time he's done that to my knowledge), Aaron is working away on a birthday present for his nephew, and Welks the Destroyer is trying to figure out why there isn't room on my lap for him. In other words- life is good.

How has your summer been? It seems like most everyone is having an enjoyable summer, which is lovely to hear!

The blogging "bug" has been nibbling at me quite a bit lately and so I'd really like to start blogging again. When I started the other blog, I wanted to do a mommy blog about life with baby, keeping sane, keeping crafty, and keeping pretty-fied. It was fun, but before long I realized I loved just experiencing my life with baby instead of documenting it as it happened. This tripped me up and that's pretty much why I haven't been around. If you follow me on Instagram or Snapchat, you know Dean keeps me busy and we're constantly on. the. go. This constant motion of life makes it a bit hard for me to blog as regularly as I thought I wanted to.

I hope this doesn't sound dumb, but I'm going to repost entries from the other blog on here in between new content. I am proud of those posts and I don't want them to just disappear.

Dean is teaching me new things every day and I want to share my experiences with the world. This won't turn into just a mommy blog, there will still me makeup posts, vacation posts, as well as fashion posts (I'm tossing around the idea of doing another capsule wardrobe series).

Anywho, I feel like this is a good place to stop before I stress myself out about whether I wrote enough, or too much, or if this content is worth writing.

Hope you have a wonderful hump day! ♥

Don't Just Stand There

photo by Jeff Sheldon

"Don't just stand there" ~ I just love this picture. It made me realize that I am just standing still with my blog. For whatever reason, when I get nervous about something, or am unsure about what to do about something, I end up not doing anything. I think, and over think, the situation so much nothing happens. Has this ever happened to you?

I remember starting my first blog eleven years ago. It was at work actually. I fresh out of high school was working as an administrative assistant for a local sub contracting company that both of my parents had worked at at one point. It was owned by a family and my situation there was just weird~ I answered to three different people all telling me different things, no two people agreeing often on what I should do. It was the worst job I've ever had. Long story short I started a blog as an outlet so Aaron didn't have to hear about it every day. This blog was nothing I cared people read because it was just my sounding board.

Once I quit and got a new job that I was happy at, I got into making pixel art and started a new blog for that. Hours upon hours were spent at my computer dressing little "dolls" in cute little outfits, participating in contests, and being a part of the community. It was a super fun time. Eventually I got distracted with knitting and switched the focus of my blog to that.

I was o b s e s s e d with knitting. Like knitting 20-30 hours a week obsessed. I wanted to become a knitwear designer and started designing my own knitting patterns. Before too long I developed tendinitis in both my wrists which caused me to not knit for close to two years. Despite giving my wrists time enough to heal, knitting is still something I can't do for any length of time (when I do have time for a hobby because of baby, haha). I felt a bit lost.

When Aaron and I opened up our store, I because the face of the company so started really focusing on my hair, makeup and clothes. Blogging about all that was fun. Even when I was pregnant, I really enjoyed it.

Now that I've had Dean, and I'm busy with him and the store, I'm not quite sure what to do with this place. I don't have a lot of time to devote to it, and my mind is so busy being preoccupied with my insecurities, I don't really want to keep blogging about that. I feel like I'm in this transitional stage right now, and I'm trying to figure things out. Over the past week or so I've been reading everything I can get my mouse pointer on in regards to blogging.

- Wonder Forest
- Autumn Leaves
- A Beautiful Mess
- London Beauty Queen

These blogs all have posts that I've read and re-read. These gals have their stuff together and really understand blogging. I really appreciate what they have to say, and I've learned a lot. After doing all the reading, I find myself noticing that my blog is lacking (according to them)- I'm not a good writer and I can't take good pictures (nor do I care to get a pricey camera, tripod, lighting, and props). Not that that's a big deal because I'm not trying to be a crazy super popular blog, just a blog that some people enjoy reading. So what do I do? What do I write about? What am I even passionate enough about to write interesting blog posts about?

There isn't an easy answer to that, so I'm not doing anything. I downloaded this blogging app for my phone called Bloggo to help with "blogging on the go". Maybe that'll help me get the blogging juices flowing.

With all this being said, I'd like to say thank you for stopping by and reading my blabberings. Honestly, I really really appreciate it. I'm just one gal with a tiny spot on the huge internet. Hopefully you'll stick around and see where this transition takes me. <3

F--k it We'll Do It Live

Have you seen that video of Bill O'Reily? Hilarious. That was our catch phrase for our trip to Seattle last weekend. It started out as a little joke at the start of the weekend but was meant seriously by the end.

On our trip home back from the Mariner's FanFest we stopped in Issaquah, like we always do, for gas. We had no idea our car would end up staying there. Our little car had no problems driving to and around Seattle. Even as we left town, the car drove just fine. As we were pulling out of the gas station the car wouldn't pop into first gear. Not only would it not pop into first gear, it wouldn't pop into ANY GEAR. Not even reverse. We managed to get it off the road and called road side assistance.

Of course the car would break down across the state, three hours from home, on a Sunday after 5pm when everything, including the towns taxis service, is closed right? I mean, that's just how it goes, ha! So we grabbed our bags, put Dean in the Baby Bjorn, and started walking for the closest hotel.

Two miles and a half hour later, we arrived at a Hilton Garden Inn who took really good care of us. They didn't charge us for a crib for Dean, and their shuttle service took Aaron and Jeffrey to Target to get supplies for the night. Of course the ONE TIME we decide to pack super light Dean covers his clothes in strawberry apple sauce while we're waiting for the tow truck, and peed through all but one of the diapers we brought. So Aaron grabbed clothes, diapers, and baby food for Dean, and food and beer for us, haha! Jeffrey picked up a PS4 so we could watch the Royal Rumble which was that night. We were planning on having a party at our house with our friends for the Rumble but that was out of the question, so we were pretty psyched to still be able to watch it.

The next morning we went to Burger King for breakfast and I snagged a crown for Dean. He was totally digging it.

The shop who had the car told us that the transmission was shot and we'd have to replace it. We had just put a new clutch in it a few months ago, and the car isn't worth half of what a new transmission cost so we decided to have it donated to charity. We bought the car new and it lasted exactly two weeks short of eight years, which is a bummer. I would have liked to have had it a few more years.

Despite how bummer-tastic the situation was with our car we made the best of it. It's a pretty stressful situation, and it totally sucks we don't have a car any more but it was, over all, a pretty fun weekend.

Bye-bye sweet Forenza! We will miss you!

Mariner's FanFest 2015

We are super psyched for the upcoming baseball season. The addition of Nelson Cruz is cause for big celebrations!!  Our hopes are high for the team this year. 

 A few weekends ago we decided to get on the hype train and go to Mariner's FanFest. So we packed up and headed to Seattle for a nice little mini vacation.

The weather was gorgeous~ 60-some degrees with bright sunshine. We went up to the roof control room to see where they open and close the roof. For those who don't know, Safeco Field has a roof that opens and closes to cover the field when they need it to. It's pretty impressive.

There were cute little places to pose for pictures. I'd say this was the closest we'd ever come to being next to Nelson Cruz but it wasn't.  He actually walked by us while we were standing in line to tour the clubhouse. We said hi and he said hi back~ OMGosh it was so cool!

We got to go down to the field and walk the bases, and hang inside the dugout. There were so many people there and everyone was cool about taking pictures.  

Dean spent the entire time in the Baby Bjorn and had the time of his life. There was so much to see, so many people to look at. He just loved the sights and sounds of the entire Fest.

Have you ever been to a FanFest before? If you ever have a chance to go to a FanFest for a team near you, definitely go! Being able to see so many things up close, meet players, and get swept up in the excitement of it, is just so fun!

Body Issues

Body image rant incoming, so please skip this if you don't want to read about this mama's body issues.  I won't be offended if you peace out, promise.

First off, know that before I go into this rant, I am, at the end of the day, fine with my body. Right now my body is in the shape it is in because I had a baby. Currently my baby is not interested in solid so everything he needs he's getting from me. The most important thing is Dean's health, so if that means I have some extra weight on me so be it. My body is helping his little body grow. My rational self knows that everything is really ok, it's just that my emotional self was pretty bummed.

Today was rough. I'm pretty sure I lived a day within the first two hours of Aaron being gone at work. Nothing too terrible happened, just lots of little things that added up. Me and Dean weren't on the same page which made this morning difficult. It took me four hours to eat breakfast, shower, and get dressed. This has never happened before and stressed me out so I didn't have a great attitude going into getting dressed.

And by not having a great attitude, I mean my brain decided it was going to see an extra 20 pounds on my tummy, which made me hate everything I wore. I felt that everything I put on drew attention to my belly. There might as well have been big neon arrows pointing to my midsection. Melodramatic, I know, but this is how I felt.

See that thing poking out right below my belly button area?  That's the button of my pants.  It sticks out because I use hair ties to secure my pants close.  (My belly area is two pants sizes larger than my hips and waist~ talk about awkward.)  I feel like the button draws attention to my belly, which is embarrassing. I can't leave my pants unbuttoned and unzipped, and belly bands squeeze too tight, so this is what I do. Whatever works, right?

I asked Aaron to take those pictures of me so I could remember what I looked like and how I felt about myself at the end of the the day. I asked him to do this because I ended up feeling fine about how my body looked in my clothes. It's really not that bad. And I'm sure no one even noticed my button, let alone cared. I want to remember this. Despite all my wallowing and melodrama, my body is just fine the way it is.

So why was I being so hard on myself?  I don't know.  Maybe it's hormones.  Maybe I'm just being impatient to see results from all the working out I've done this month. While I am starting to feel results from working out, it is going to take a little while before I start to see the results I want to see. I need to be ok with that. And I am, I just need to remember to be patient.

Life is too short to get too wrapped up in worrying about my tummy. In all honesty, I'd rather spend that time and energy with Aaron and Dean. They make me so happy, and I want to give them the best ME. I can't do that when I'm wallowing. I will be strong for them. Like Hulk Hogan and (pretend) 24 inch "pythons" strong.

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